Resurrection of... whatever this was.

I'm back - I think. That crazy little person to the left is the product of Operation Make-a-baby, thus I've been MIA in the blog world for quite some time. Any extra moments I could spend at the computer (over the course of my pregnancy) were devoted to an insufferable need to "research" what I was in for, a.k.a, what could I do ahead of time to make parenting easier. It was all about what was in my belly, not what was in my head.

Now that she, Zinnia Jane, as arrived, I'm ready to reclaim a little of myself. Sounds a bit backwards, as though now is the time to give up a little of myself. But I did that from the moment I knew she was in the womb. Now, as I get to know her, it's like getting to know the new me at the same time. The Mommy Me. I'm okay with the Mommy Me, but I think new moms can easily slip into a weird baby vortex. A vortex that consumes all independent thoughts and interests, leaving behind a shell of the woman she once was, stuffed with baby-focused cream filling.

Of course, how can you not be all but obsessed with living, breathing, mini look-alike that you and your partner made out of love? It's totally amazing, and cool, and indescribable. Still, I want to make a distinct effort not to get lost in the wonder of it all. Mostly because I've witnessed it from an outside perspective, and have always found it kind of annoying. Yet, from this side, a new baby means not much else is ABLE to happen in my life, thus she essentially becomes it.

To counter this, I've begun planning a small business venture. It’s very slow going given the circumstances, but still something other than Zinnia on which to focus some effort. Reading is fun again, and hopefully, writing will be, too. I think writing is that thing I constantly resolve to get back into… so often that I really can stop resolving and just know that it will always be something I pick back up when I can. And despite my aim to have a life outside of the baby, you can be sure she’ll provide me with plenty of material to document- which I WILL document.